twitter? I don't even know 'er...

You twitter, you brought 'er.

We're not going to wax poetic and try to pollyannaesthetize you into following us on Twitter. But if you really need the extra 140 characters describing the most groundbreakingly inane thing happening at the Five at this very moment, feel free to socially network your little booties off.

Don't forget to fluff the fauxhawk and buckle your Ed Hardy white belt on the side first, though.

We've got standards to uphold, after all.